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V-word

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V-word

This blog's gonna hibernate... or something... for awhile.
I may surf a little... when I can snag an wi-fi, but posting's probably going to be out of the question.
So if all you find is V-words it means I didn't get a signal ...or I there wasn't a computer available.

Today's the first day of vacation...





V-word

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Last week, a friend of mine checked into a motel on her 60th birthday. Being somewhat lonely, she thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."
She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a quarter off his well-oiled butt.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night -tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I' m ready!! Now how does that sound?"

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."


That's WHY SHE CHANGED MOTELS . . . .





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Beware

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click the image to visit the site








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Twins

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A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy
and a girl.

The head nurse brought them out for their father to
see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl
baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and
the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.

He took one step forward just so he could touch the
babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he
started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards
and said, "You can't touch those babies. You aren't
sterile!"

With out missing a beat, he retorted, "You're telling
*me* I'm not sterile!?"









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Not just summer

I saw a discussion about this over at Buck's EIP, only it was a year-round thing.










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What?

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Click the image to read the story







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Gratitude

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I sure am grateful that I discovered that I'm the one who has control over my attitude. Because I will be the first to tell you that if it was others who were in control, I can be one miserable negative @$$hole. Heck, even without the help of those others, I can be one miserable negative @$$hole.
No details about where that came from, I may have already said too much.





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I love a parade

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Followed by a Rodeo







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Planet of the goats?

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(apod)

What was just supposed to be a picture of a lunar eclipse turned out a little different









V-word for today:

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An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot
tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I
want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and
this Christian Family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face
me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and
in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your
transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop
traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice
quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible
misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the
sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation
roared.

Summer's almost here

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Question of the day...

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V-word for today is

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Yesterday's post disappeared

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Why am I not surprised?



It appears there was a in Mr. Blogger's neighborhood?


And for today...



Yeah, NPR again




the V-word is

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PRAYER FOR GRANDPA

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This is just too beautiful not to share.




Dear God, please send clothes for all those
poor ladies on grandpa's computer.

Amen






V-word is back

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Just a little something

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We just might have missed this... what with all of the other shenanigans going on in DC

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Remember

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...because today is not one of those day we set aside for special occasions it is all the more reason.

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Not that I'd ever do anything like that

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Suldog... yeah that same one who quit blogging... has gone gimicky. Some time ago he was a Blog of Note, which gained him a bunch of new followers... a whole bunch. Now he appears to be actually attempting to attract others. I mean why would he otherwise post this and this? It's no accident that certain words and phrases attract more hits from search engines. Otherwise why would a certain post on this blog have almost three times as many page views as the next nearest post. I won't tell you the search term, but it rhymes with Clown Hoser.





It's

Now that we're up here...

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...what are we gonna do?

Gotta love NPR

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Don't ask me how they send this out over the radio.

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18."
~ Albert Einstein

V-word of the day

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Saw it, had to post it

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This V-word has to mean something

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Who could have known?

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Wife's Diary:



Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



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Husband's Diary:


Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.





is the V-word

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Everything will be fine if Blogger doesn't crash again

...and the V-word is

Annual fishing trip

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Now that the season's finally opened at Eagle Lake, it's time to see if we can auto-post.


Today's V-word is




I want a job making up v-words

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snapshot

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Today's V-word pretty much says it all

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almost forgot:

Joys of Photoshop GIMP

On Monday Carolina wrote a post about photo editing... or maybe I should say image editing.
Then yesterday, while cruising the interwebby thing I ran across a v-word that I couldn't leave alone because it appeared to have an arrow instead of a y. Bad kerning will do that ya know.

Anyhow, I couldn't just leave it. I had to show that I kinda know somethin' about screwing with images and words.



Besides, nobody's playing the v-word game.

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