Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Decision, decisions...


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I couldn't decide whose cartoon to steal today...






They're both from the same post
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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Post holiday funk

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It used to be after Christmas that we'd go funky and slip into a mood. But now that the heavy merchandisers and credit card companies have hijacked the season and are doing their best to wrestle Thanksgiving away from us, too, I'm ready for the new year.

Only this year that's not going to help the mood much, either. Because almost immediately are the first of the primaries for President.

Maybe I'll become a hermit. I'd only have to move a couple of miles to lose cell phone service and wi-fi.
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Monday, November 28, 2011

I really wonder

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This is about how I feel when the main news stories are about holiday shopping and how many folks are acting like ass weasels
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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

It's take your dog for a walk day

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Because tomorrow all of those amateurs will be out on the trails running off their dinner
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Saturday, November 19, 2011

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My comment yesterday (on the Timmy post), that I do this mostly for the laughs, was almost right. Thinking about it a little more, the realization is it's done to see if there will be a reaction.
This all started because I liked being able to comment on other blogs using an alias. Then Carolina called me out.
There are some of you who know who I am. Your secrets are safe with me as long as mine is safe with you.
There's a real irony about this post. I only just now re-discovered that it was two years ago the day before yesterday that I started this blog.
The most fun I have is hiding stuff in plain sight (like in the sidebar, header, or footer).
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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Timmy


Timmy: Mommy, I have a drinking problem.
Mom: Oh my God! Timmy, you're only six! This is your no good father’s fault!
Dad: My fault? Maybe if you weren’t such a stuck up leech I wouldn’t have to drink!
Mom: You idiot! This family doesn’t need you! Get out!
Dad: I’m going!
Mom: Now tell me about your drinking problem, Timmy.
Timmy: If jack has three cans of Pepsi, and he drinks one, how many does he have left?



Saturday, November 12, 2011

How deer think



Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, 'What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?

Nugent replied, 'Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress.'

The interview ended.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Tools Explained

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DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans.. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

Hope you found this informative.
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Monday, November 7, 2011

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Men in Heaven

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When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise , God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.

I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves! I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here"
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Saturday, November 5, 2011

They're out there, they live among us, AND THEY VOTE!!!

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The hurricanes that hit the Gulf Coast of our nation were devastating. It did not spare the houses of worship in and around the area.

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans. The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate. She asked the woman how such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives.

Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know about all those other people, but we aint gone to Churches in years. We gits our chicken from Popeye's."

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.
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Friday, November 4, 2011

False alarm

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TGFSF*
I was afraid my mind might become constipated if the crap I relate to couldn't be dumped.
It turns out the issue with the computer had more to do with trying to do too much (too many tabs open) than anything else. =]V[= explains it really well.


*Thank Goodness for small favors
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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Grrrrrrrr!

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The work station I use for accessing the WEB is going to be out of service for awhile. Nobody can tell me how long that will be. I'm just mildly irritated really chuffed.
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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I was just reminded of something

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There was a nonsense rhyme way back... well, it really doesn't rhyme, which is what makes it nonsense unless you knew the original rhyme that made sense.
Thirty days has September,
and no wonder,
all the rest have peanut butter,
except for my grandmother,
who rides a little red trycycle

Make of that what you will

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

We didn't make it

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The quest for 1000 pageviews fell short. It wasn't because we didn't get the seven more I mentioned. It was because I can't do simple arithmetic... or somethin'
That's not important, anyway. There are many things far more important than how many people stop to look at this blog, though there have been 25 who've visited since 5pm (PDT) yesterday.

Robin gifted me this

...and this, too!

Robyn gifted me this

Apryl presented this one

Bacon

Bacon
from Uncle Skip

An award

An award
From A Daft Scots Lass

"...you magnificent ba$tard!"

"...you magnificent ba$tard!"
from Ol' AF Sarge

Put it back where it started!!!

copy this

copy this
stick it anywhere

set things right