Friday, November 30, 2012

Son of a ...


What the heck
I gotta get me a rocket launcher for my car
I was out this morning, running an errand
So on the way home I proceeded onto the on ramp for the Interstate
There were two care ahead of me
The first car accelerated all the way to 40mph by the time it entered the highway, forcing the vehicles on the highway to either brake or shift to the left
I won't even tell you the words going through my mind at the time
I imagine the car in between was having similar thoughts

Then the assweasel accelerated such that the vehicles which had shifted to the left could not get back into the right hand lane for the next exit

I hope his mother bites him when he gets home



Thursday, November 29, 2012

Couldn't stretch the Hostess thing


I didn't find any more graphic stuff and the only entertaining written items have pretty much already gone viral

If ya'll haven't already seen "how the Hostess company was divided up," I am truly sorry

You're not gonna see it here

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Three days in a row




Yeah, it's old news, but I'm on a roll


Friday, November 23, 2012

I wanna hear this put to music





Saw this a couple of weeks ago, but, in keeping with the Thanksgiving Comes First campaign, held off until this morning

I have no idea who Cory is

This is for you Suldog!

Thursday, November 22, 2012


“Did you hear Butterball had to recall 2 million turkeys this year
Seems they forgot to butter the balls."





Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Golden Turtle




Once there was a bear and a rabbit. They were
very good friends.

One day, these two friends were taking a walk
together deep into the woods.

About an hour into the walk, they came across
a Golden Turtle. who spoke to them and said;

"Everyone that crosses my path gets three wishes.
Mr. Bear, what is your first wish?" asks the turtle.

"I wish that all the bears in my town were all
h-rny females." the bear replied.

"Very well. Rabbit, what is your first wish?"

"I want a motorcycle helmet." said the rabbit.

"Okay. Bear, what is your second wish?" asked the
turtle.

"I want all the bears in the whole country to be
horny females." said the bear.

"Very well, and rabbit your second wish?" asked the
turtle.

"I wish for a motorcycle to go with my new helmet."
said the rabbit.

"Okay" said the turtle. "You each have one more wish."

"I wish that all the bears in the whole world were all
h-rny females!" said the bear.

"No problem," said the turtle. "Mr. rabbit, what is
your last wish?"

The rabbit thought for a minute. then he laughed
hysterically, as he jumped on his shiny new motorcycle:

"I wish that the Bear was gay!"


Monday, November 19, 2012

The countdown continues


Buck posted a look at his iGurgle page on Saturday
So it became incumbent upon me to regurgitate my page



His post is a reminder, to those of us who use it as a home page, that it will disappear in another eleven and a half months
You can see I haven't got a lot invested in my page
I will miss it anyway
Particularly Calvin and Hobbs


Sunday, November 18, 2012

So I decided to do some research




I went online and looked at demented

It fits...barely

Then I checked on bastard

That fits, too


Suldog* needs an award for creativity
I wonder if Aretha Franklin's gonna get a new hat for this inaugural

*he's away for the week so he won't even see this post until a week from tomorrow


Friday, November 16, 2012

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I am only following orders (updated)



He said "Steal This Blog"
Click it to enlarge
You'll see
Have I ever lied to you? (rhetorical question)

Definitely click on it
It helps keep me from breaking the rules of this blog


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Maybe #2


Joe, the Cranky Old Man, posted some thoughts
They weren't necessarily his, but I would venture he agreed mostly?
At the end of the post he opined:
"I sure hope the day comes when we stop categorizing everything as a race, gender or age issue and try to pull together."
Me too
Because as long as we continue to look for the differences and base our decisions and preferences on differences the world will continue to have shit storms

Don't get me wrong
The last thing I want is for everyone to start being alike
I just want folks to find the commonality in each of us
We can still disagree
But if we have that one thing in common, a similarity, we can get along to some degree
We won't need anti-discrimination statutes

Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I'm a misogynist or in discriminate against women
The only women I even have issues with are the ones who use gender as a tool

Just because I'm straight doesn't mean I can't accept GLBTs
I just can't accept that they should have some kind of advantage over me

Just because I'm white doesn't make me a honky

The bottom line here is, as far as I'm concerned, as long as others keep bringing up these differences they'll remain an issue
As soon as those issues are dropped more of us may start to see much alike we all are

Just because I don't like the Dodgers, doesn't mean I can't get along with someone who's a Dodger fan (or is that too extreme?)

Just because I'm not normal...




Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Maybe


I think maybe someone should take a good hard look at what's happening
Jim Sullivan, Suldog, started something a few years before I even knew what blogging was is
It's a crusade to give Thanksgiving its due... to provide an opportunity for families to celebrate togetherness and give thanks before they start concerning themselves with Christmas
I wholeheartedly agree the holiday merchandising thing has gotten entirely out of hand
Worse... it is now the new religious experience
It is as if it's a sacrilege not to participate in the crush of Black Friday
If I used colorful language like Sully, here's where I'd use it
Sully calls me a demented bastard
What's that make the folks in Bentonville, Kirkland and Minneapolis?
How about shit eating carp?
They've been fished in by their marketing folks to the point where they've hijacked every holiday from the middle of August on
Yeah... I saw Christmas stuff right next to back to school stuff
They're hammering Christmas so hard that most folks, particularly kids, don't even remember what Christmas is all about
Sadly, the constitution forbids government from doing anything about it
You know, that separation thing
So I have a modest proposal
Don't buy gifts for anyone this year
Just make a monetary contribution to a local charity, not a national one with a big marketing plan, that spends every penny contributed to help your fellow citizens stay clothed, keep warm and live a little better until next year
So they have something to give thanks for in 2013
And let's do it every year until the shit eating carp (I kinda like that because I'm a demented bastard) give us back our holidays (Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving) and remember what Christmas is really about
Maybe even remove it's status as a National Holiday? (ignore that thought)

Hey... I'm just throwin' some ideas out there to see what sticks
So shoot me!

And while we're at it, let's get rid of unions, lawyers, insurance companies and ferrets

Ass weasels!


And the government should send me a check on my birthday every week


Saturday, November 10, 2012

No $#|+



you may be encouraging year-round Christmas advertising and merchandising

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Smoke enough weed and you won't care




I'd almost bet that a lot of voters didn't wait for that stuff to be legal

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I was right


That's a first
I couldn't find an escape from the election anywhere on TV last night
Even Sports Center made announcements
The scariest thing I heard was at the end of the ABC broadcast, after the President made his speech
One of the analyst/experts said the Republican primary campaign would begin today

I watched 60 minutes interview with David McCullough Sunday night
One thing he said that stood out for me was that the money spent campaigning is unconscionable
Uh-huh, sure is
But I suppose it's helps the economy ...somehow

There's one little thing that disturbs me
The talking heads have issues with candidates who spend their own funds to campaign
Why?

The Cranky Old Man posted about the election
He said respect the office (I'm paraphrasing here, okay?)
I think he was talking to us
We can laugh at the man; be angry with the man; disagree with the man
In the end he is still our President







Tuesday, November 6, 2012

There ain't gonna be any good $#|+ on TV tonight




Boredom can lead to madness in parrots. The birds need constant interaction, affection, and mental stimulation; bird authorities have determined that some parrots have the mental abilities of a 5-year-old human child. When caged by themselves and neglected for long periods of time, these intelligent, sociable birds can easily become mentally ill. Many inflict wounds upon themselves, develop strange tics, and rip out their own feathers. Should a neglected parrot go mad, there is little that can be done to restore it to normalcy. In England, there are mental institutions for such unfortunate creatures.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Thursday, November 1, 2012

It won't be much longer Abby




It's the media's fault
They belabor everything
F***ers!

Had this ready to go and hit save instead of publish



Robin gifted me this

...and this, too!

Robyn gifted me this

Apryl presented this one

Bacon

Bacon
from Uncle Skip

An award

An award
From A Daft Scots Lass

"...you magnificent ba$tard!"

"...you magnificent ba$tard!"
from Ol' AF Sarge

Put it back where it started!!!

copy this

copy this
stick it anywhere

set things right