I told my mother that everyone hates me. She said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
I am not a pimp
I owe Suldog something
I don't know why
I don't know what
Oh, yeah ...now I remember
He's defined me
I'm a demented bastard, and he never fails to remind folks
So he recently* became self-employed**
He can't afford an agent
Demented bastards are similar to agents, except they work for free
He (Suldog) is in the Boston Herald
Go see this
Read it
Then sign up and tell them you enjoy reading his stuff in their newspaper
Suldog also writes stuff for Funny Times, but they're not online so you have to subscribe
He even had something in Discover
He gets paid for that
Go figure
You can also find him here
*it's a relative term
**it's also a relative term
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
You can turn off you "Caps Lock" now
I forgot how irritating it is to see something typed out in all caps
One of the drawbacks to the font I use here on the blog is I don't have a lot of formatting options like other fonts
Italic and bold hardly show, and resizing doesn't work at all
That's probably a really good thing
That is why on a number of occasions the font is changed to another style
Besides a picture is worth a thousand words and the font doesn't matter
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Give all holidays their due
From where I see it, Halloween's being overlooked by corporate because they're so obsessed with the winter holiday
After Halloween and Veterans Day, Thanksgiving Comes First
Friday, October 18, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
itsa buncha crap
Lookit what our so-called government representatives have actually accomplished
First, ask yourself what the date is
Okay, it's the 14th of October, a Monday
There's your first clue something's up
Monday, that is
Many, many memorable events took place on this date
What are we celebrating?
Columbus Day
WTF!!!
The man who conned the King and Queen of Spain into financing a number of misguided expeditions ...he was lost, folks... was born on October 12
Yeah, he made a discovery
He just didn't know what it was
On top of that, his discovery helped wipe out whole civilizations on two continents
But that's not my complaint
It's how the maroons in DC can't do what they're supposed to do
But they can fart around with the calendar and foist faux holidays on us
I'm not sayin' don't acknowledge the lost Italian
Just do it right
They've made it more about a day off, which more people than not ignore, than about an event
The folks who do take the day off don't have anyplace to visit because all the really neat places are run by the Feds who've closed them, or they're like Legoland, which is too expensive
In another couple of weeks the clocks get messed with
I'm pretty sure daylight savings has outlived its usefullness
What is it about so-called representatives that makes them think they have to leave some kind of legacy?
They should open the eyes and see the legacy left by others
And they should open their freakin' ears and listen to the folks who elect them ...not the folks who paid them to run
They have to stop trying to be lawmakers
They really need to clean up their mess and the messes left by their predecessors
Buck like to say, "GOML!"
I say, "Get off your phone!"
--
Go read Courage
Then think about all the folks you know to whom this applies
--
Did anyone see the Patriots and Red Sox dismantle their opponents at the last minute yesterday?
That was kinda fun for some, not so much for others
Hey! I had to lighten up a little
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Yeah, yeah, I know this is way late
But I only saw it this morning
And the only reason I have any interest is because of the Cranky Old Man
He is rather fond of these creatures
Or, he at least gave than impression
I couldn't find one smaller
Oh, and this is still Uncle Skip's fault
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
It's totally nuts just about all over
If I still used colorful language, I'd say something like, "F_ _ _, f_ _ _, f_ _ _!"
I won't go into a lot of detail
But add this onto all the other crap going on
...officials at Weber Middle School in Port Washington are worried that students are getting hurt during recess. Thus, they have instituted a ban on footballs, baseballs, lacrosse balls, or anything that might hurt someone on school grounds.Or as it was succinctly put:
School Bans FunF_ _ _, f_ _ _, f_ _ _!
It's all politics, folks, and politics has been corrupted beyond the pale
sorely tempted to actually type the words and just
Read more here: http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/#storylink=cpy
Monday, October 7, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Friday, October 4, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Why We Need Gun Control
A man walked into his crowded local bar, waved a revolver around and yelled,
"Who in here has been screwing my wife?"
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Washington doesn't get it
It's everywhere
It's almost anarchy
Nobody's listening because they're all talking
What a bunch of maroons!