Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Investment tips for 2012


So I figured if Suldog, Mrs Linklater, and Knickleback Knucklehead can do prognostications or commentary, so can I. I'm just not going to take on an easy subject like the winner of a meaningless game (unless you own a TV network or a pro football team). Here's something we can all get on about:



With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman
Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice.
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations later on this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and
W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces
and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota
Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become: Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new
name: TittyTittyBangBang





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7 comments:

  1. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
    become: Knott NOW!


    Ummm... I believe THAT merger happened about 12 or 13 years ago. In my world.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I dare say your prognostications have a better chance of panning out than mine. However, I believe you left out one of the most important upcoming mergers.

    A northern Canadian province, Lita Ford, Seabiscuit, The City of Tonowanda (NY), The son on Married With Children, Bazooka Gum, the German philosopher who came up with the Categorical Imperative, the fifth month of the year, a bet on the next roll of the dice in Craps, and a martini.

    Yukon, Lita, Horse, Tonowanda, Bud, Chew, Kant, May, Come, Drink.

    Damn. That's really bad. I wasted far too much of my morning on that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want a job like yours where you can spend a whole morning coming up with that stuff.

      Delete
  3. That last one made me spit out my gum I laughed so hard.

    ReplyDelete

Go ahead.
I dare ya!



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