Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Has it really been almost a week?


So... I was looking at the stats page awhile ago
It's been awhile since traffic was up, probably because I haven't posted
This morning it showed a pretty good bump in page views
Upon checking a little further I found that 64% of those views were from the Ukraine
Now I have a question
Why do we say, "the Ukraine" when we don't say the England, or the Russia, or the China, or the Canada
Then I realized we say "the United States"
So I thought maybe it's countries that start with "U"
But we don't say "the Uganda"


But there are more important things

So first things first
I saw this and, well, you know how this mind works...


...it hasn't improved much, people!



Then there's

It could be a solution to item #1



I could have lived a lifetime without ever seeing this, ever



In closing, I have a little story...

Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, a parishioner made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods and found me a bear. I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed,  'Well,brothers, I went out and I found  me a bear, and, you know, we Baptists don't sprinkle!. So I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, up another and down another until we came to a creek. There, I quickly dunked him under and BAPTIZED him. It was amazing, just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.  We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

6 comments:

  1. I was about to take you to task for the link, but you made things much better with the joke. You're forgiven.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am I gonna have to put a disclaimer here on this blog regarding links?

      Delete
  2. The joke was excellent. The link I will be trying to forget for the rest of my life. (But it was funny.)

    As for Ukraine, no "the" just Ukraine. Trust me, I know these things. You probably don't want to know how.

    However, saying "The Gambia" is correct. Sort of (technically it's "The Republic of the Gambia").

    I read too much...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now your going to fry my brain with the "The" thing...The Netherlands...The USSR...The Falkland's...all plurals. I think I just say Ukraine, not The Ukraine.

    ReplyDelete

Go ahead.
I dare ya!



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