Timmy: Mommy, I have a drinking problem.
Mom: Oh my God! Timmy, you're only six! This is your no good father’s fault!
Dad: My fault? Maybe if you weren’t such a stuck up leech I wouldn’t have to drink!
Mom: You idiot! This family doesn’t need you! Get out!
Dad: I’m going!
Mom: Now tell me about your drinking problem, Timmy.
Timmy: If jack has three cans of Pepsi, and he drinks one, how many does he have left?