Utah

So!
it appears this thing I started because somebody sent me an email with some jokes about folks in states other than theirs has become a fixation
I shoulda stopped when their jokes were used up
I haven't
We continue

I will preface the following by saying that Utah humor is very limited
Virtually every joke I found related to one of three universities
Most of those were unoriginal

The story, below, was ripped from the front page of a leading SLC newspaper.  Very interesting...

Justice in Salt Lake City... 

Salt Lake City, UT  (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of aSalt Lake County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a courtruling over who should have custody of him.. The boy has a history ofbeing beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody tohis aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiringthat family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat himmore than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. Whenthe judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boycried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learningthat domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, thejudge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose whoshould have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the childwelfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the BYU Cougars Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Colorado

98% OF AMERICANS SCREAM BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD. THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM COLORADO AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS.

Twofer

These could go on for awhile

Nevada and California

 A Texan, a Californian, and a Nevadan were out riding their horses.
The Texan pulled out an expensive bottle of tequila, took a long draught, then another, and then suddenly threw it into the air, pulled out his gun and shot the bottle in midair.

The Californian looked at the Texan and said, "What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!!
The Texan replied, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap.

A while later, not wanted to be outdone, the Californian pulled out a bottle of wine, took a few sips, threw the half full champagne bottle into the air, pulled out his gun, and shot it in midair.
The Nevadan couldn't believe this and said "What the heck did you that for?
That was an expensive bottle of wine!
The Californian replied, "In California there is plenty of wine and bottles are cheap."

A while later, the Nevadan pulled out a bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. He opened it, took a sip, took another sip, then chugged the rest. He then put the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulled out his gun, turned, and shot the Californian.
The shocked Texan said "Why in the hell did you do that?"

The Nevadan replied, "Well, in Nevada we have plenty of Californians and bottles are worth a nickel."

Arizona

This thing with the states was supposed to be done with
But it's almost too easy

This isn't so much a joke as a statement of fact
I found it over at Dr Heckle

It has been modified slightly because it suits my location as well

There's prolly one minor difference, though
Here, stupid doesn't wait for hot

New Mexico

This series was to end yesterday
The posts were only going to be about some states in the South
The Oregon post was an anomaly ...one that just happened to appear, if by magic
I love posting derogatory Oregon stuff 
If you were here yesterday, and read the comments, you will understand there was an implied challenge
That's why there is one more today

 A family from New Mexico decides to go to the Big Apple for the first Time in their lives; Maw, Paw and their son.
They go into the Empire State Building.
As they're walking around they notice the elevator. Never seeing one before they stand in front of it bewildered.
While staring at it, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to it, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself inside and the door closes.
The New Mexico redneck family watches as the lights for each floor light as it goes up.
They continue to watch as the numbers go down again.
The door opens and out walks this tall gorgeous blonde.
Legs to her neck. Great figure. Beautiful! Paw looks at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove yer Maw in there!"

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

South Carolina

A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."