So... what does this make me?

Somebody emailed this. I have no idea if I was singled out or it was flame.


I have no intention of forwarding it. On the other hand I certainly haven't deleted.
Lord knows I'm not sitting on any fences...

...my hemorrhoids couldn't handle it

Saw this

This just in...

.

I read where some hotels are giving guests an opportunity to sleep outside. Say what?

/\

SOGDI

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No that's not a random verification word. It's shorthand for Some Other Guy Did It, which is a variation of some other dude did it, which is the first thing cops hear from a perp.

Now, what was I saying here?

Oh yeah. There are a few posts around and about that have to do with the current holiday(s). A couple of them are just links to other posts [I won't name the lazy lumps individuals who took that shortcut.
I went out and found some Christmas stuff of my own. Well, actually I copied it from other places that had in turn stolen them.

If anyone finds these offensive... I'm sorry.

Now take some time, sit back, play these in order from top to bottom, and enjoy.








Merry Christmas
I'll see ya'll sometime next week

Monday grumble

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I was looking at an item on the web about the public's perceptions of Congress, specifically, why we love to hate it. There were more comments than I wanted to read. But among the sampling I did read job creation was one of the things that some folks felt they wanted Congress to handle.
I really don't think that is such a wise idea. It seems to me we already have too many people working for the government. What we really need are more folks working in the private sector, earning money so we can afford to pay those working for the government.
Here, in my neck of the woods, government is the largest employer and it is going broke. They have tried to resolve the problem by raising fees and taxes. But they can't pass a tax increase and every time the fees are raised fewer folks find a need to do whatever the fee is for. The local government has attempted to reduce costs by eliminating jobs. But even though employees claim they're not paid wages comparable to the private sector, they don't want to seek private employment.
I think what we need in our government, especially Congress, are out best and brightest, rather than the folks who are so inept that couldn't get a real job. About the only thing they're good at is posturing and rhetoric.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to open email

Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....




"BOB, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!


...or to post really lame jokes, either?

Sometimes I can't help myself

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This is very timely. The latest newsletter from The Texas Gardener' Seeds said: Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are. Need another reason? Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of forests.
Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures. Here are three from the Bat Family...without the need for resorting to fiction.


Sucker-footed Bat



Red-Winged Fruit Bat



Left-Winged Ding Bat

Palm Sunday

Speaking of Palm Sunday....
Did you hear the one about the midget palm reader who head butted a guard while escaping from jail?
The headline read:

Small medium at large