Tuesday, February 8, 2011

School Days

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I only have a vague recollection of how it came about. The three of us, Mel, Bugs, and I, became the sole members of an exclusive club in junior high.
Back in those days all of the cool guys wore Levi's. Back in those days there was only one style of Levi's. We didn't know from 501s, but that's what they were. There were a couple of other things about those Levi's, too. They didn't get washed. They could stand up by themselves. They were always worn with a white tee shirt tucked in. They were worn as low on the butt as possible. Oh, yeah we were so cool.
It started out one morning at recess. Someone pantsed somebody else. It was easy enough. The darn things already had a good start towards the ankles. This event was observed by someone else who, in turn pantsed another. It was almost an epidemic. Then as suddenly as it started, it ceased. The very next morning, Bugs (don't call him Bugsy) started it off by pantsing Mel, whose Levi's were so loose Bugs almost lost his balance. I was just standing almost minding my own business, but I laughed. In fact I laughed a lot. Mel came up swinging after he'd regained altitude on his britches.
This was all observed by Mrs. Doberman, the part-time Vice Principal. She spent part time at our school and part time at the other junior high in the district. When she wasn't here Mr. Whiney, who was okay, was at the school.
Mel's swing had found its target. It landed dead center in the middle of my face, attempting to flatten my nose. The pain was tremendous, but there was no other damage. Maybe if there's been blood I might have gotten sympathy.
Mrs. Doberman escorted the three of us to The Office, where we were told to sit and wait while our fates were determined by the Principal, whose name escapes me. I only remember that he was the tallest person I'd ever met up to that time. I also remember that I was glad my fate wasn't in the hands of the weasily little Napoleon who'd been principal at the elementary school. The Principal conferred with Mrs. Doberman and our respective teachers for what seemed like hours, but couldn't have been more than minutes because recess hadn't ended yet. Finally, they came out of his office and we were sent in. We stood in front of his desk. He stood behind it, his head seemingly almost touching the ceiling. He stared at each of us in turn, first Mel, then me, finally Bugs, and then pronounced the sentence. Every day for the rest of the school year, we were to report to the office at the beginning of each recess and lunch period and stay until such time as we were released from custody by whoever had the duty that day. The only exception was we were allowed to go to the restroom, one at a time.
The three of us became pretty good friends, which, because we were in different classrooms, probably would not have happened.
Oh! And somehow none of our parents were ever informed.
.

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