Same characters from yesterday

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cleaning out the inbox

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GYHOOYAT!

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This really is at least a day late.


Get
Your
Heads
Out
Of
Your
Asses,
Turkeys
...it's akin to FUBAR and SNAFU

One good thing about SF

I was sorely tempted to post something about freckles, along the lines of what's found at Suldog's, Surly Writer, or Skip's... Anyone remember this?
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We get emails

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...even some from people we know

A woman was at the beauty salon getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the stylist, who responded: " Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome."

Then the stylist asked "What airline are you flying on?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the stylist. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Gusto di Roma."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.."

"Are you going to the Vatican?" asked the stylist.

"Of course" replied the woman "We're going to go to see the Vatican and hope get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the stylist. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in to her beauty salon.

The stylist asked about her trip to Rome ..

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us a suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the stylist, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and he spoke a few words to us."

"Oh, really!" relied the stylist, "What'd he say?"

He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?"

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just stuff

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It's so bad the title isn't even capitalized.
It's not original stuff, either.

Google or Yahoo might buy Hulu after some meetings where it will be really hard to keep a straight face when you have to keep saying those company names over and over again.

If you’re still playing along at home: Debt – not settled. NFL – settled. Who was supposed to be smarter in that comparison, do you think?

At last, we can answer the question, “Are Democrats or Republicans to blame for the debt ceiling crisis?” The answer: Yes!

Ozzie Osbourne has paid $10,000 for a new Yorkie. Boy, is he gonna be mad when Sharon tells him it’s a dog, and not the city like he thought.

To save you the trouble of coming here for these tidbits, from hereon just go here.
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LOVE THIS IDEA

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Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes
I've heard in all this drama about the debt ceiling:


"I could end the deficit in 5 minutes," he told CNBC. "You just pass a law that
says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all sitting members
of Congress are ineligible for re-election."

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Um.... okay

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Think

I'm sure I have something to say. I'll let you know as soon as the government tells me what it is.

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Hello! I'm Potty The Pot Plant!

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It's not an award

This is a response


to this

sometimes I just can't help myself
or
don't want to

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click for the source...

...where I also learned it's too hot to paint your house.

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Instead of a post

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Here's a link I find quite amusing, and here's another link that was found because of the first one.

I almost labeled this, Pimpin' the Blogs. Then it occurred to me that was kind of crude.

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This one made me snork

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A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'


Then I almost wet myself



Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland .. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'

A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!

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Works for me

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Lighten up

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Vintage

I wonder if it inspired this one?

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An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

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Payback

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At least 5 people have sent me emails about 3D printers.
This is for them.

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Americas Best MySpace Patriotic Comments








V-word

Seriously? You want one today?

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This just in:

There once was a weirdo named Weiner
Who had a perverted demeanor
Forced from the Hill
For acting like Bill
Now Congress is one weiner leaner

It is sooooo last month.






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