Sunday, January 31, 2010

What's the point?

There's a football game in Miami today.
Big whoop!!!
The NFL Pro Bowl is being played as a lead in to the Super Bowl week.
Supposedly the best players not playing in the championship next Sunday are vying for... what?
These fellas have been beating on one another since last August. Yeah, right, they do make big money and this puts more in their pockets and helps to support NFL Charities, which does a lot of good, too. But just think about this. If each of the 86 players spent the time they use to get ready for this game to work on a charitable project, they would more than likely risk less injury and might even help raise more funds.
The Pro Bowl is an all-star game. You know when I would like to an all-star game? Right before the season starts when all of the players are healthy. There might even be more fan interest because of that lack of games for six months.
* * *
Picked up another follower... dunno why.

Saturday, January 30, 2010


Well it's not really a quote, but it sure is descriptive. I think what I like best is how the poster handled it in her blog. She implied that readers should ignore it, by striking through the text instead of deleting it.

Wouldn't it be easier for Nancy Pelosi to remain standing rather than bouncing up and down as if fire ants were in her lap?

Read more:
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

Thursday, January 28, 2010

So, here's the question -

What is the difference between a brown noser and a shithead?

Depth Perception

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Apple Does It Again!!!

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

This is considered a major social break- through, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"Good things" I've read???

A recent addition to my followers posted this. I give it four stars.

Oh, and Sullivan had something to say, too. Personally, I might have chosen the title more carefully... aaghhh! Who am I kidding?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

If you're up to it

So yesterday I mentioned an about me list.
Well, I guessed it was about time to post some more about me:

Hi, my name is: Ivan Toblog [was that a trick question?]

but you can call me: @$$h@t

Never in my life have I: farmed

The one person who can drive me nuts is: me

My high school is/was: schizophrenic

When I’m nervous: I pray

The last song I listened to was: a parody

My hair is: still there

When I was 4: I only had one parent and I was an only child

Last Christmas: was mellow

I should be: cleaning up my office

When I look down: I can see my feet

The happiest recent event was: I've lost track, there are so many

By this time next year: I'm not falling into that trap

My current gripe is: I can't remember, it wasn't important

I have a hard time understanding: no I don't, I only pretend

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: depends on the award

I want to buy: gummi worms

Where do you plan to visit: my daughter's family

If you spent the night at my house: we have a guest room

The world could do without: animosity

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: potato chips, cheetos and Fritos

Most recent thing someone else bought me: I forget

My middle name is: the gov't said it's (NMI)... or was it (NMN)?

In the morning I: thank God

Last night I was: eating Oreos

If I was an animal I’d be a: snuffleupagus

A better name for me would be: Thor

Tomorrow I am: Shouldn't that be future tense?

Tonight I am: Ditto - I have no expectations and haven't planned anything specific that far ahead

Friday, January 22, 2010

throwaway thoughts for a Friday

I really wish I could do screen captures.
On Blogs of Note this morning. There's an error that kind of cracks me up. Someone was obviously in a hurry when the keyed in the name of the Blog for the today because they typed

Running from America

Just click on it to see why it's funny.


Doll Face over at Fluid Pusher has finally posted again. Looks like somebody challenged her to fill out one of those lame lists. Fortunately she's got the class not to do the same to others.


Nobody gave this to me. I just took it.

I know somebody who would hand them out right and left.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Goin' to WalMart



It's only Thursday.
Worse, it doesn't matter because weekends aren't much different from week days.
'Tis a puzzlement.
Oh, well... road trip in two weeks.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Those Brits!!!

I see that there are some new followers.
While checking them out I found another quote worth repeating:
"Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall"
- Alan Bennett
Anyway, I find that the British are pretty well able to find the humor in any situation. That's gotta be a good thing... right?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Change of pace

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages.. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up andsend them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?" "Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

Monday, January 18, 2010

Question of the Day

Does anyone know what the Doctor who graduates at the bottom of his class is called?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Did anyone?

I hear that there are still some football games being played in the NFL. Does anyone know who's playing?
Do you care?
Didja watch any of the games?

Me neither. Gotta save up the excitement for baseball... right?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Thanks Jim

Suldog finally got around to putting his award up on the sidebar of his blog. Yours truly was almost feeling a bit rejected. The best part is that he actually put another name on it, which I was loathe to do.
I was really sorry when the talk about that hat went away right after last year's inaugural. I was kind of hoping that it would remain in the spotlight for awhile.
In any event I will periodically attempt to spice things up with that hat. The award may have been a once in a lifetime thing, but a hat like that has to live on.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


There are now at least three ladies blogging about exes.
I refer, of course, to the earlier post here.
I figure I'm in the clear unless they start actually naming names. Besides two of them weren't even born when I was in the dating pool. The third was what we called jail bait.
BTW - I want to clarify that I am not referring to TCG, who writes an online column called 100 Bad Dates. She also calls it Adventures of a Hot Dating Mess.

Two women

Oh crap I'm gonna stick my neck out here. But I won't name them or otherwise identify them. You're gonna figure out that they've got blogs anyway.

Come to think of it, this could prove more dangerous than giving Suldog an award. [snork!!!]
Anyhow, these two women chose to parse the men they have dated and found lacking. I found both of the articles humorous... probably because I didn't see myself described anywhere in them? I wish I had the imagination to create posts such as theirs. But I have been trained to react. Hence the title of this blog. Even that is not original. It's a quote from Tom Smothers. But I digress.

I won't try to defend any of those men, though that's my first instinct. I learned some time ago that our instinct aren't necessarily always our friends. All I really want to say to these ladies [I like ladies better than women... the words that is] is that I may be reading more into those posts than is actually there. But I think your own words are sending you a message. In any event don't expect the men to change because you want them to. They will change because they want to.

note to self: Did I really write that? Remind everyone that I don't take myself seriously. It's what I do that's serious.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I am so sorry

Here I've been stalking Suldog for months and only just today when he went off on Knucklehead did I realize that I hadn't made that connection helps him figure out how many scalps he's collected. Ironically he went off on me, too, but have you ever tried to hit smoke with anything? Anyway I am now officially "following" Suldog. It's probably the least I could do.

Zipper pulls and other oddities

So my friend, Suldog, filleted (his word, not mine) me this morning. I'm not disappointed, though he promised barbecue. It all came about because I presented him with an award.
Imagine that.
As a stalker I knew exactly what to expect when the award was presented. I know that had he had more time to gather information, Sully would certainly have been able to draw and quarter this humble blogger. His claim is that he actually refrained from ragging on the pen name. Hey, take a shot bucko. IT's [IT=Ivan Toblog] a pseudonym and fair game. Aren't in this for entertainment first and enlightenment by accident?
Now that I think about it, there may be some actual residual effect from his post. I might see a few more visitors here. Oh, wait! That won't happen because I don't track visits. I find it absolutely amazing that I even have any followers/stalkers. I'm even more amazed that, aside from Sullivan, they're mostly complimentary.

Oh, and he further commented on the avatar I use.
I could have used this photo since it's in the public domain.

But the guy is supposedly really dangerous.

...and I'm better lookin'

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Quote for the...

From Richmond, VA:
"Gollum and that fat abused black kid ruined the word Precious"

Monday, January 11, 2010

There are one or more blogs that I stalk on a daily basis. They don't necessarily have new posts each day, but they can be quite entertaining anyway.
One of those blogs is The Checkout Girl. It is worth visiting just to read the Twitter feed on the sidebar.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


So I clicked on that Next Blog thingy above the whatchamacallit and it took me to a BDSM blog. I about crapped in my drawers. I can hardly stand to have my shoelaces tied.

Friday, January 8, 2010


One of my favorite blogs is written by an ornithologist. At least I think she's an ornithologist because she writes about boobies. There must not be much money in ornithology because she also dabbles in corpse reconstruction. In a recent post she was writing about body count and how it has been up lately. I think that this may be because now there is a larger population so there are more people who can die.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

"Good things" I've read???

Happy New Year!!!
Remember when Ronald Reagan was president, we also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash still with us...

Now we have Obama and no hope and no cash!!!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I didn't think I was gonna have anything to post today

Then I went to Fludpusher. When I posted a comment this was my verification word.

I have no idea what it means.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I found another blog to stalk

For a full explanation click on the picture.

I just thought of something

So you can probably totally discount that it is relevant to anything. Anyway here goes -

Has anyone noticed the similarity in Nancy Pelosi's and Roman Polanski's last names?

Yeah, I do lay awake nights thinking about this stuff. Why?

Monday, January 4, 2010

new ears resamalutions

didn't make none... not gonna.
I already quit having hangovers... for over seven and a half years ...and I quit smoking a year and a half ago. I won't say how long I indulged and I don't lecture... much. I know how much that works.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

another - somebody else wrote this

MY cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood, in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by another, who goes out and earns a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy S#!t, my cat is a democrat!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

So I posted a comment

I was stalking another blog and decided to post some words of wisdom which were just a tad contrary to the post. After I clicked on Publish the verification word came up as stomp. Then the message was that my comment would appear after approval.
I wonder what that means?

Friday, January 1, 2010


Happy New Year

Robin gifted me this

...and this, too!

Robyn gifted me this

Apryl presented this one


from Uncle Skip

An award

An award
From A Daft Scots Lass

" magnificent ba$tard!"

" magnificent ba$tard!"
from Ol' AF Sarge

Put it back where it started!!!

copy this

copy this
stick it anywhere

set things right