Well, this gives me an idea...

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I didn't say you were (insert word here).

I said you were smart.

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About that last post

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So I mentioned that school's started.
That means there are school buses all over town all day. That's because there are two high schools, one middle school, and three grammar schools [which I wanna know why they call them grammar schools, because they sure don't learn much about grammar... or at least it doesn't take].
I've figured out that I have to allow an extra ten minutes to go almost anywhere because of the delays created by those buses stopping at places where they cannot be passed.

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That's just pathetic

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School's only just started... well, two weeks ago... so a local major retailer has already consolidated the back-to-school stuff and made room for winter holiday merchandise. Therefore Suldog gets almost top billing on the sidebar.

...and no this isn't a plea for a space on his sidebar

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Curious

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There's a post on this blog that probably has more page views (over 725) than all of the other posts combined. Well, that may be a slight exaggeration. That's not what this is about anyway.
What I want to know is why the stats tab is telling me that those pageviews are since May 2009?
I didn't start this thing until November of that year.
The real irony is that fully a third of those views have been in the last month.
What I've been able to extrapolate from the information available is nobody is looking at the current stuff.

I'm not going to tempt fate by asking why.

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Just this...

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"Until recent years, people living in remote areas of Afghanistan and Ethiopia were immunized against smallpox by having dried powdered scabs from victims of the disease blown up their noses.This treatment was invented by a Chinese Buddhist nun in the eleventh century. It is the oldest known form of vaccination."

'n this


Yeah, I know nobody over on the East Coast is laughing.

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Payback II

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I digress

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A tourist in a bar in Florida asks an Irishman sitting at the bar,
"Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the Irishman replies:
"If they fell forwards they'd still be in the effin' boat."

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Click the links

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So it looks like Mother Nature is unleashing her fury over on the other side of the country. First there was that li'l shakeup* that had folks near the capital changing their underwear. Now, she's sending a major in that direction, wreaking havoc along the way.

I like to think of Mother Nature as a benevolent entity. She does, after all, have some really superior qualities. It really too bad that she has to remind us occasionally just who's in control.


*Trust me it wasn't no big deal. I've seen and felt what the real things do (1971, 1989, 1994).

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Uh huh

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When I was young I prayed for a bike but didn't get one.
Then I realised that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

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As mentioned previously...

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This isn't exactly current any longer... and here's a quote from the Washington Post:

The first warnings of the earthquake may have occurred at the National Zoo, where officials said some animals seemed to feel it coming before people did. The red ruffed lemurs began “alarm calling” a full 15 minutes before the quake hit, zoo spokeswoman Pamela Baker-Masson said. In the Great Ape House, Iris, an orangutan, let out a guttural holler 10 seconds before keepers felt the quake. The flamingos huddled together in the water seconds before people felt the rumbling. The rheas got excited. And the hooded mergansers — a kind of duck — dashed for the safety of the water.

Oh! About the previous post: it's unfortunate the hat was empty.

Since we seemed to have missed a day

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This is some of the best news we've heard yet.

I'm sure there'll be more later
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quote

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Karl Marx

"Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included."

Hmmmmmmm...

Candidates have their system...

...the voter's, theirs...

...and they're broken.

This really isn't a solution.

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A piece of advice

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Look people in the eye, but if you don't blink you'll look like a psychopath.

~ Ann Imig

Walter

Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and Obama asks him his name.

" Walter," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Walter?

"I have 4 questions:

First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?

Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually worse?

Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preachings and beliefs?

Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren't allowed to?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time.. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question, Steve?"

Actually, I have 6 questions.

First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?

Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually worse?

Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching’s and beliefs?

Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren't allowed to?

Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And sixth, what the F... happened to Walter?"

Thanks Buck!

I was wondering what to do today. Then the EIP posted.


Click the image for an interactive view... or not

Thank goodness there's no grade.

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Isn't that someone's name?

From elsewhere

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I do this when somebody else can say it better

President Obama says Republicans aren’t using common sense, Rick Perry accuses the Fed Chairman of treason, Michele Bachmann blames Obama for something Bush did. The race is on, and they’re off and running at the mouth.

House payments are currently cheaper than rent payments in most American cities. While this is a turnaround from common practice, experts point out that no matter what, you still only rent beer.

Quote of...

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"Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid."
~ John Wayne

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Wanna buy a dog?

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A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'


The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'


'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a Democrat and a liar. He never did any of that crap.

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may now... for awhile

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“Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Unless he’s wearing clown shoes. Then please— judge away.”

—André

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We haven't heard the last of him

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“Life is not always like a box of chocolates. It may look like chocolate but, in fact, it is not.”
– André

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...but he's quotable

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“If I could only be half the man my father was, I’d choose the top. Dad had weird feet.”

- André

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I have no idea who he is

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“Ever try to order the panda at Panda Express? Boy, those people need to get a sense of humor.”

- André

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Did you see this one?

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I can't top this

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Go here

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Bluetooth

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A couple were going out for the evening.

They'd got ready, all dolled up, but just needed to put the dog out when the taxi arrives.

However as the couple walked out of the house, the dog shoots back in the house.

They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty, explains to the taxi driver: 'He's just going upstairs to say good-night to my mother.'

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.

'Sorry I took so long' he says. 'Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her arse downstairs and tossed her in the back yard!

She better not shit in the vegetable garden again!'

The silence in the cab was deafening.

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Sentiment

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"No one’s ever made me feel
the way you do…

Worried that everything I say
might be taken wrong."

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Strength

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"There’s strength in numbers.
Especially nines.
Nines are badasses."

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Rummaging around...

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

and...

In spite of what a video seems to show, a whale was not dancing to a mariachi band at a wedding. He just really, really had to pee.

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'nuff said

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This just in...

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I read where some hotels are giving guests an opportunity to sleep outside. Say what?

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I love me some metaphors

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Originally, this just linked to the image. Now it links to the site.

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