Gonna take the weekend off II

Gonna take the weekend off

So let's automate this puppy...

There're other cartoons out there...

...but I'd prefer to look at others solutions for their situations



and a challenge:

Go here and try not to laugh out loud

Do ya remember my little rant from Monday

This one
Well, I have been made aware of a circumstance where I might just use that word out loud, in public, for everyone and his grandmother to hear

In other words, "the judicious use of expletives" (thanks Sully)

Read this, or this (the digested version) and tell me if you wouldn't want a word that could attract attention when morons are messing with you

Another hoax blasted

*Something better

About that post

The one posted yesterday
I'm pretty sure it's a fake ...unlike a lot of other stuff out there



I just like outrageous things

*well I almost made it

A perfectly effective expletive has been rendered ineffective

It's one of those words I don't rarely use and will, when possible, delete, expunge, or, otherwise, render almost unrecognizable
You know the one
It still shocks your grandmother
It's the effword and it's almost ubiquitous, making it useless as an escalating adjective because nowadays effing everything is effing whatever
I mean it's the effing best; or the effing worst
Whatever happened to using regular everyday words to cast an insult? Like saying that what someone says isdubious and hypocritcal instead of telling them they are full of shit!
I'm thinking the challenge today should be to make those we don't see eye to eye with say, "Huh? Instead of pissing them off by saying, "Go f#@* yourself and the horse you rode in on!"
if this is still here, it means nothing better's occurred to me since Friday

Say what!

The full story's here

Ha!

I learned a new word yesterday the other day

Earworm

It's new to me. It's not a physical thing. It's a musical thing.
I found out about it here.
Some of my earworms are different from those on the list and my list is just a scosh longer starts a few years earlier and is a bit more selective.

A little bit of research reveals the word's been around for some time. It just happens to have escaped my notice.

The Einstein definition of insanity

...because it ain't the first time

But then maybe they figure if it's a different U.S. Attorney, it isn't repetition?

Dumbasses

Follow on

I was gonna reply to a comment on yesterday's post. Then I decided I could expand upon what I was talking it was about.

Although Roger Clemens is specifically mentioned in the post. My rant isn't specifically about the prosecution of Mr. Clemens. It's more about the headline hunting that's going on... and it's not just prosecutors and the Executive Branch of the government.
The Legislative Branch are even bigger ass weasels when it comes to dragging in the famous to ask embarrassing questions and grandstand for the public. I don't have any problem with congress having hearings when they're warranted. Heck, it's one of the better ways to find stuff out. But if the congressmen and senators ...and their staff people ...have nothing better to do than call out famous folks for being stupid, they're wasting a ton of time and my money.
I could just as easily used Barry Bonds as an example, or even included him, and a few others... if my memory was better... but unlike federal prosecutors, I have better things to do.

-o0o-

I found an Eric Holder cartoon that I really liked, but I like this one better best.





Oh ...and talk about wasting time

So, really, how does this affect the rest of us?

Another court case has ended.
The only thing that comes to mind is, How frickin' much did this cost the taxpayers?
I'm sure that compared to the total prosecutorial budget of the Justice Department it was minimal. But, honestly, does anyone really believe we'd be better off if they'd proved Roger Clemens lied to congress?
Seriously... does anyone think congress cares what the truth is?

Disgusting!
Oh... and the Attorney General is a ___________

Happy...

You gotta click the image ...really!

Yeah, I did steal this

from Hallmark

Decision making

I had a hard time deciding about today's post at first.
I really didn't want to put this one up (unless I couldn't find anything else):

Did you know this about bats?

The newsletter from, "The Texas Gardener Seeds" said:

Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are.

Need another reason?

Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of forests.
Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures.
Here are three from the Bat Family...

Then I found this, tamer and less inflammatory ...yes?

Finally, though, I found this:

http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/2012/06/June-14-2012/

Huh?

A Buck Dollar Doesn't Go Nearly As Far Today

One down

Rumor has it the ice hockey season ended?
For cryin' out loud, folks, it's almost the middle of June. Hockey's an indoor sport mostly. That doesn't mean it should be played year-round. I think there should be a rule that ice hockey can only be played when mother nature makes ice.

Then there's the NBA.
Gimme a break! They're just tonight gonna start the finals. So there's a minimum of four more games. They oughta be done by the MLB All-Star game. There should be a rule relating to ice for the NBA, too. I will say it was cool that the season didn't start until late December, but I still got bored before they were done with the regular season.

About the only thing more ennui inducing is an election year

Twofer

Evidently someone was not pleased

I got some more

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"





Paddy Died. His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend.
"Ah well, Paddy would be pleased," she said.
"You're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So go on, how much did this really cost?"
"All of it?" said Colleen. "Forty thousand."
"Aw No!" Mary exclaimed, "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!"
Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."
Mary computed quickly.
"For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?"

Somebody keeps sending me these

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
Paddy ordered a whisky.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"

Sure Happy IT's Thursday

Okay... so the title's a given ...and somebody else hasn't already used it today.
Now it behooves (ironic that hooves have nothing to do with this word) me to relate something akin to a relevant thought ...or not.
Suldog posted a worthwhile link to a commencement speech by David McCullough. No, not that David McCullough, the high school English teacher David McCullough.
I love it when someone points out just how unique and significant each of us is.

Kevin's story

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!
Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Kevin:

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
Kevin said: 'Shingles.'
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had...
Kevin said, 'Shingles.'
So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles..'
So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles.'
The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

Car keys

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

Random samplings

Some's just a tad inhuman and inane



Some is profound


And some paints a picture for the mind to wrestle

Yeah, right

"Irish Genie"

Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following
a dramatic escape from a burning freighter.
While rummaging through the boat's provisions,
one of the men stumbled across an old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he
rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement
of the castaways, a genie came forth. This
particular genie, however, stated that he could
only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the
man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening
crash, and immediately the entire sea turned
into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the
gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the
stillness as the men considered their circumstances.

One man looked disgustedly at the other whose
wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled
moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going
to have to pee in the boat."

I'm glad this is a short video

Somebody I know coulda wrote this

Clearing out the strays

Investment Tips

So, you think that the economic people I follow don't really know their stuff? Well, ye of little faith, I send sound advice your way:

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago,
you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would
have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago,
you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all
the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund,
you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink
heavily & recycle.

It is called the 401-Keg.

And a bonus tip...

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a
year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of
alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41
miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be an American!





It just occurred to me that the Secret Service scandal was only discovered
after a disagreement regarding how much a prostitute wanted for her services
came to light.

She wanted $800.00. The Secret Service Agent offered $30.00. How ironic is
it that the only person in Washington trying to cut spending. . . . . gets fired?





Best Military Quote:

"When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became
Optional, and now it's Legal. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."
~ GySgt Harry Berres, USMC