I got some more

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"





Paddy Died. His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend.
"Ah well, Paddy would be pleased," she said.
"You're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So go on, how much did this really cost?"
"All of it?" said Colleen. "Forty thousand."
"Aw No!" Mary exclaimed, "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!"
Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."
Mary computed quickly.
"For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?"