Monday, December 31, 2012

This just in

Similar events might occur with other aging pilots who often forget they
are not sitting in a real aircraft...

 Drone Pilot Ejects From Office Chair

FARGO, ND (The Global Edition)–When an electrical fire disabled Colonel
Doyle VanWatermulen’s Predator drone, the 65-year old veteran pilot
exclaimed “Mayday! Mayday! We’re going down! We’re going down!” while
sitting at his cubicle, sources close to his office confirmed.

Witnesses stated VanWatermulen began violently pulling and pushing the
various ergonomic levers under his seat in an apparent attempt to “eject”
himself. Unable to trigger an ejection, the pilot called out ”Jammed! I’m
outta here!” and rolled from his chair.

“Oh, right,” he said after hitting the concrete floor at the North Dakota
Air National Guard Station in Fargo, ND. His then un-piloted drone, armed
with two Hellfire missiles, reportedly crashed into an Afghanistan hillside
some 6,741 miles away.

Meanwhile Air Force officials have been at a loss to explain the pilot’s
bizarre behavior. However, one drone crew member, who wished to remain
anonymous, said there were some early warning signs, “We should have
suspected a problem when he [VanWatermulen] showed up for the mission in a
lambskin leather bomber jacket and helmet.”

The Air Force later issued a statement admitting that VanWatermulen was
part of a new program dubbed “Balding Eagle,” utilizing seasoned military
airmen to fill the government’s growing need for drone pilots.

The program has come under intense scrutiny following the incident. Concern
has mounted that similar events might occur with other aging pilots.

Defenders of the program argue this isolated case must not be used to bar
all older pilots from flying unmanned drones. In an article appearing in
next month’s AARP Magazine titled “The Baby Boom Bombers,” author Christine
Timmel argues that “With key accommodations such as post-it note reminders
and fun brain teasers, aging pilots can continue leading successful
Predator drone attacks.”

VanWatermulen is currently being treated for a broken right hip. No word
yet from the Air Force as to when VanWatermulen will return to work.

By TGE correspondent Jess McLain

Saturday, December 29, 2012

A simple diversion

A little fast and loose today... but it's Saturday

Mine's Footlong Crabrash

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Remember the reason for the season

Merry Christmas

I got the idea from Buck

Monday, December 24, 2012

Monday, December 10, 2012

This is for Buck

Saw it just after I posted yesterday

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Deer season...

I scouted the area all summer
 I searched out the best location for my tree-stand
 I set it all up a month ahead of time

I trailed the herd

I picked out a trophy buck

Two days before opening day I rechecked every aspect of the hunt

Everything was in place

Sunday morning, I woke up at 2 am

I put on my camo, loaded my pack, set out for my stand

This was destined to be an epic hunt

As I approached my deer stand...

...I changed my mind, decided to go to church instead

Gonna be away for awhile... maybe we will comment on some other posts

Just in case...
Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

What's this world come to?

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...
'I’m going to take that.'

Friday, December 7, 2012

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Who Knew?

It all makes sense now
Gay marriage and marijuana legalized on the same day
Leviticus 20:13 If a man lays with another man, he should be stoned
We’ve just been interpreting it incorrectly all these years

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Uh, huh!

Nude Santa

Adults only

Scroll down to see the nude Santa

For crying out loud.

Act your age
There is no Santa!

Monday, December 3, 2012

What would you do...

There was a humongous lottery jackpot last week
That is it was humongous for those who had access to purchase tickets for that lottery
Are there any states not running a ripoff for their citizens now?
How many lotteries are actually accomplishing what it was explained to the voters who approved them they are intended for?
I mean here in California they're supposed to fund infrastructure for education
Supposedly the funds would be in addition to funds already being spent
They're not
The only folks who benefit are the ones running the lottery
You don't really believe the winners benefit you?
Well, maybe Suldog and HIS WIFE are entertained when they play scratch-off tickets
If a big winner was allowed to remain anonymous, they might benefit to some extent if they're able to keep from going overboard
What would you do if you won a big jackpot?
I'm almost guaranteed I won't...
... I don't buy tickets

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Friday, November 30, 2012

Son of a ...

What the heck
I gotta get me a rocket launcher for my car
I was out this morning, running an errand
So on the way home I proceeded onto the on ramp for the Interstate
There were two care ahead of me
The first car accelerated all the way to 40mph by the time it entered the highway, forcing the vehicles on the highway to either brake or shift to the left
I won't even tell you the words going through my mind at the time
I imagine the car in between was having similar thoughts

Then the assweasel accelerated such that the vehicles which had shifted to the left could not get back into the right hand lane for the next exit

I hope his mother bites him when he gets home

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Couldn't stretch the Hostess thing

I didn't find any more graphic stuff and the only entertaining written items have pretty much already gone viral

If ya'll haven't already seen "how the Hostess company was divided up," I am truly sorry

You're not gonna see it here

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Three days in a row

Yeah, it's old news, but I'm on a roll

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Friday, November 23, 2012

I wanna hear this put to music

Saw this a couple of weeks ago, but, in keeping with the Thanksgiving Comes First campaign, held off until this morning

I have no idea who Cory is

This is for you Suldog!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

“Did you hear Butterball had to recall 2 million turkeys this year
Seems they forgot to butter the balls."

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Golden Turtle

Once there was a bear and a rabbit. They were
very good friends.

One day, these two friends were taking a walk
together deep into the woods.

About an hour into the walk, they came across
a Golden Turtle. who spoke to them and said;

"Everyone that crosses my path gets three wishes.
Mr. Bear, what is your first wish?" asks the turtle.

"I wish that all the bears in my town were all
h-rny females." the bear replied.

"Very well. Rabbit, what is your first wish?"

"I want a motorcycle helmet." said the rabbit.

"Okay. Bear, what is your second wish?" asked the

"I want all the bears in the whole country to be
horny females." said the bear.

"Very well, and rabbit your second wish?" asked the

"I wish for a motorcycle to go with my new helmet."
said the rabbit.

"Okay" said the turtle. "You each have one more wish."

"I wish that all the bears in the whole world were all
h-rny females!" said the bear.

"No problem," said the turtle. "Mr. rabbit, what is
your last wish?"

The rabbit thought for a minute. then he laughed
hysterically, as he jumped on his shiny new motorcycle:

"I wish that the Bear was gay!"

Monday, November 19, 2012

The countdown continues

Buck posted a look at his iGurgle page on Saturday
So it became incumbent upon me to regurgitate my page

His post is a reminder, to those of us who use it as a home page, that it will disappear in another eleven and a half months
You can see I haven't got a lot invested in my page
I will miss it anyway
Particularly Calvin and Hobbs

Sunday, November 18, 2012

So I decided to do some research

I went online and looked at demented

It fits...barely

Then I checked on bastard

That fits, too

Suldog* needs an award for creativity
I wonder if Aretha Franklin's gonna get a new hat for this inaugural

*he's away for the week so he won't even see this post until a week from tomorrow

Friday, November 16, 2012

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I am only following orders (updated)

He said "Steal This Blog"
Click it to enlarge
You'll see
Have I ever lied to you? (rhetorical question)

Definitely click on it
It helps keep me from breaking the rules of this blog

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Maybe #2

Joe, the Cranky Old Man, posted some thoughts
They weren't necessarily his, but I would venture he agreed mostly?
At the end of the post he opined:
"I sure hope the day comes when we stop categorizing everything as a race, gender or age issue and try to pull together."
Me too
Because as long as we continue to look for the differences and base our decisions and preferences on differences the world will continue to have shit storms

Don't get me wrong
The last thing I want is for everyone to start being alike
I just want folks to find the commonality in each of us
We can still disagree
But if we have that one thing in common, a similarity, we can get along to some degree
We won't need anti-discrimination statutes

Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I'm a misogynist or in discriminate against women
The only women I even have issues with are the ones who use gender as a tool

Just because I'm straight doesn't mean I can't accept GLBTs
I just can't accept that they should have some kind of advantage over me

Just because I'm white doesn't make me a honky

The bottom line here is, as far as I'm concerned, as long as others keep bringing up these differences they'll remain an issue
As soon as those issues are dropped more of us may start to see much alike we all are

Just because I don't like the Dodgers, doesn't mean I can't get along with someone who's a Dodger fan (or is that too extreme?)

Just because I'm not normal...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


I think maybe someone should take a good hard look at what's happening
Jim Sullivan, Suldog, started something a few years before I even knew what blogging was is
It's a crusade to give Thanksgiving its due... to provide an opportunity for families to celebrate togetherness and give thanks before they start concerning themselves with Christmas
I wholeheartedly agree the holiday merchandising thing has gotten entirely out of hand
Worse... it is now the new religious experience
It is as if it's a sacrilege not to participate in the crush of Black Friday
If I used colorful language like Sully, here's where I'd use it
Sully calls me a demented bastard
What's that make the folks in Bentonville, Kirkland and Minneapolis?
How about shit eating carp?
They've been fished in by their marketing folks to the point where they've hijacked every holiday from the middle of August on
Yeah... I saw Christmas stuff right next to back to school stuff
They're hammering Christmas so hard that most folks, particularly kids, don't even remember what Christmas is all about
Sadly, the constitution forbids government from doing anything about it
You know, that separation thing
So I have a modest proposal
Don't buy gifts for anyone this year
Just make a monetary contribution to a local charity, not a national one with a big marketing plan, that spends every penny contributed to help your fellow citizens stay clothed, keep warm and live a little better until next year
So they have something to give thanks for in 2013
And let's do it every year until the shit eating carp (I kinda like that because I'm a demented bastard) give us back our holidays (Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving) and remember what Christmas is really about
Maybe even remove it's status as a National Holiday? (ignore that thought)

Hey... I'm just throwin' some ideas out there to see what sticks
So shoot me!

And while we're at it, let's get rid of unions, lawyers, insurance companies and ferrets

Ass weasels!

And the government should send me a check on my birthday every week

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Saturday, November 10, 2012

No $#|+

you may be encouraging year-round Christmas advertising and merchandising

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Smoke enough weed and you won't care

I'd almost bet that a lot of voters didn't wait for that stuff to be legal

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I was right

That's a first
I couldn't find an escape from the election anywhere on TV last night
Even Sports Center made announcements
The scariest thing I heard was at the end of the ABC broadcast, after the President made his speech
One of the analyst/experts said the Republican primary campaign would begin today

I watched 60 minutes interview with David McCullough Sunday night
One thing he said that stood out for me was that the money spent campaigning is unconscionable
Uh-huh, sure is
But I suppose it's helps the economy ...somehow

There's one little thing that disturbs me
The talking heads have issues with candidates who spend their own funds to campaign

The Cranky Old Man posted about the election
He said respect the office (I'm paraphrasing here, okay?)
I think he was talking to us
We can laugh at the man; be angry with the man; disagree with the man
In the end he is still our President

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

There ain't gonna be any good $#|+ on TV tonight

Boredom can lead to madness in parrots. The birds need constant interaction, affection, and mental stimulation; bird authorities have determined that some parrots have the mental abilities of a 5-year-old human child. When caged by themselves and neglected for long periods of time, these intelligent, sociable birds can easily become mentally ill. Many inflict wounds upon themselves, develop strange tics, and rip out their own feathers. Should a neglected parrot go mad, there is little that can be done to restore it to normalcy. In England, there are mental institutions for such unfortunate creatures.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Thursday, November 1, 2012

It won't be much longer Abby

It's the media's fault
They belabor everything

Had this ready to go and hit save instead of publish

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Spread the word

I dunno who decided they had to start promoting Christmas shopping in August (yep, that's when it started here with the decoration stuff), but they should have a stick shoved up their _ _ _ and be ridden out of town on a rail.

This whole thing all came about because everyone wants an edge, a head start on the competition. The retailers are so huge and freakin' margins on merchandise are so low that the only way to profit is to be first. Well, that is so wrong on so many levels because that's not what the holiday is supposed to be about.

The marketing folks of the world should be ashamed of themselves for what they have done to the psyche of the average citizen. The very idea that someone should feel guilty for not giving gifts to the verge of bankruptcy is appalling. We've been blackmailed by retailers. We're being told that if we don't shop the economy is going to turn to shit. Ummm, guess what? Christmas may turn out to be the next real estate bubble, only with consumer credit instead of mortgages. Think, "What's in your wallet?"

Folks, it's okay to save. It's okay to spend for necessities (even give them as gifts). And it's okay to wait until the Monday after Thanksgiving.

So jump on the bandwagon with me and join Suldog, who explains it better'n me, in the campaign to take back Thanksgiving because it comes first.

Friday, October 26, 2012

How about that...

That's baseball for ya
It'll mess up your expectations at almost any time
At least at the major league level
That's because it's those little things that make the difference
Like backing up the cut-off man and making a perfect throw to the plate
Like having a bunt roll along the third base line and coming to a complete stop before rolling foul
Like loading the bases with no one out, so even a double play scores a run
Like remembering that the game is fun matter what

The Giants have a saying that is all inclusive, meaning their fans are a part of what is happening, too
"Together we're Giant"
You watch and you can see it

Cincinnati thought they had things pretty well sewed up ...guess what!
St Louis thought they had things pretty well sewed up ...guess what!
The so-called experts picked Detroit before the Series ever started
Who's hedging now?
It's far from over
Anything can happen
It's the little things
I'm going to enjoy this anyway

Thursday, October 25, 2012

One thousand

That's how many posts there are on this blog now.

...and that's what Pablo Sandoval is batting in the World Series so far!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I rest my case

The ninth inning was a perfect example why the baseball season goes too far into the fall
Even on the West Coast we're susceptible to rain this time of year
I'm sure glad nobody got hurt
Nobody wants rain during the playoffs, particularly since all games must be played to the full nine innings
That, and those presidential debates lose some audience
Anybody know what the score on that was?

Monday, October 22, 2012

I'm just gonna bask

It's glorious
There is still at least one more game ...barring some kind of natural disaster, which, given history, isn't out of the question
The two guys at the end of the alphabet pitched a couple of gems, maybe even their best games?
Now it's down to one game to determine who plays at least four more
The calendar in my head says this should be all over
So does the weatherman
As I watched the wrap-up on Comcast last evening, they were pulling the tarp over the field
When there are potential rain-outs in SF the season's gone too long
That said, another sign the season's too long is there are holiday shopping ads
I'm not gonna use the C word yet

Friday, October 19, 2012

My printer is low on mayo

...and that has absolutely nothing to do do with this post ...really!

I mentioned somewhere over on the left I refrain from the gratuitous use of expletives. There are plenty of other everyday words to enhance speech or writing.

Not that an occasional (not daily ...or even weekly) sprinkling of a spicy word doesn't enhance a phrase. It does, and when used sparingly, like some herbs and spices, is quite effective, even attention grabbing. I'm fairly certain the use of a certain F word has found its way into the everyday speech of many, many young (and not so young) folks. While I don't necessarily find it offensive (I've been know to speak it a time or two), I certainly find it quite disturbing to hear it (and/or see it) coming from otherwise civil, so-called educated, individuals. It's not just limited to the f-bomb, though it's most common. Ironically, when I was in the military I didn't hear such language as often.

It's just not necessary... and when it slips into regular conversation, it can be quite embarassing. Just ask Tom Hanks and Elizabeth Vargas.

Robin gifted me this

...and this, too!

Robyn gifted me this

Apryl presented this one


from Uncle Skip

An award

An award
From A Daft Scots Lass

" magnificent ba$tard!"

" magnificent ba$tard!"
from Ol' AF Sarge

Put it back where it started!!!

copy this

copy this
stick it anywhere

set things right