Imaginary conversation

As husbands and wives will, from time to time, my wife and I were having the discussion about what would happen in the eventuality that one of us would predecease the other like...tomorrow night.

The usual "would you remarry?" questions were asked and answered. I asked my wife, "If there was a nuclear war tomorrow, and you were the last woman alive on the face of the Earth, would you help procreate the species? Assume there were 10 men that were a mixture of reasonably attractive, and totally repugnant."

My wife asked, "Are you alive or dead?"

"Where I was standing at the moment the war broke out is now a smoking hole," I informed her.

A few moments of consideration.

"Yes, reluctantly, if I were the last woman on the face of the Earth, and the survival of the species depended on it, I'd have to do what was necessary."

I was wandering into the kitchen to refill my drink when I heard this, muttered under her breath:

"...bet your @$$, I'd set myself up as Queen, though."


I'm off to join Sure Happy It's Thursday on a vacation. Maybe, if time and circumstances permit, there will be a post or two from wherever it is we are.

I am gonna break a rule

.

I think I said somewhere that I wasn't going to put up links to other blogs on my sidebar? Anyway, I found a blog that really deserves semi-permanent promotion... like
That Is Priceless... because it's not about the blogger. It is about posting clips from other blogs without passing judgment on them.
So, now, if you choose, enjoy Hippest Snippets.

Know your audience

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!"
The priest, getting impatient, said. "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said. "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."

Um, okay

"I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."
~ Charles Pierce, 1980



Sure
Happy
It's
Thursday is on vacation. The rest of the blog will follow shortly

SAY WHAT....

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith."
The entire congregation held its breath.


"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

Saw this

Boy! This needs to get around

Euphemism

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Has anyone noticed how those "Easy Money" scam emails are mostly from Honorable people? Those poor misguided fools think that because our politicians are addressed as Honorable Such and Such, we trust them.
I do believe I may have found a new euphemism.