Righteous!!!

What talent!!!

I just like cartoons... OK?

So if you think you might like cartoons, too, click on the image for more, and edgier, of the same.

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.



EATING OUT

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



MONEY

· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



BATHROOMS

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS

· A woman has the last word in any argument.

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



FUTURE

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



SUCCESS

· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL

· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING

· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.





THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Random

I had some more thoughts about Punctuation Day, which I hope takes off... Really!
My thoughts were that that nobody wants to hear about periods and they certainly don't want to know about my colon.


I'm sure there's more rattling around up there, just couldn't grasp it long enough to put it into words that anyone but me can understand.

Uh, oh!

So I was screwing around on the Interwebs yesterday and found out it was Punctuation Day.
Somewhere else I saw some dialog where a blogger described herself as living "...with my husband, cat and seven chickens." I almost immediately thought about the placement of commas and why would anyone name someone "cat?"
Another blogger posted some randomness I totally identified with. The only difference between us is he can remember the good stuff long enough to get it out.

I got nothin'

So here's this

After awhile

Yesterday when the traffic, or whatever was screwing up the Interwebs, diluted, I read about a root canal.


But, I'm sure happy it's Thursday

Random stuff

A friend emailed a bunch of one-liners... twelve to be exact. This is the only one I will reprint:

Paddy is walking down the road eating a bag of doughnuts when he meets Murphy.
Murphy says "If I can guess how many doughnuts you have in the bag, can I have one?"
Paddy says, "If you can guess how many are in there, you can have both of them"...............
Murphy says, "Four!"

The others were far more off-color... not that some aren't worth repeating... just not here. I do have some standards.

___

The Interwebs seem to be having some difficulties... or maybe it's just me. Some connections are taking forever and others aren't happening at all.

___

I periodically check to see what's going on with Blogs of Note. Monday they selected a blog that hasn't had a post since June of 2009 and that one was three weeks after the previous one. It was to announce that the blogger was taking a leave from blogging.

Did anyone know?

Sunday was Talk Like A Pirate Day. Look it up. There's even a name generator for those without enough imagination to create their own. I'm Cap'n Hannibal Leadfoot.

It seems someone has been trying to promote this event for about eight years. I only just became aware of it because I don't get out much now that I find it necessary to fill blog space.

Volunteer meme

Carolina over at Brinkbeest in English (I think she does in Dutch, too) was tagged in a meme. There seems to be a lot of that going around. You can see her post here. She also has a really nice photoblog.
She's way too nice and didn't tag anyone else... just asked for volunteers. I figured what the hey, I can answer those questions... and since I wasn't tagged, I don't have to tag anyone else. So here are the questions and responses... played straight:

1. What was your favourite back to school item to buy?
Every year it seemed like I needed a new jacket. I'm not sure if it was buying the jacket or just shopping for it... or maybe it was the one on one time with my mom?

2. What was your favourite subject in school?
That's really easy. It was reading, followed by spelling. I like them because I didn't have to study.

3. Did you ride the bus or get a ride from Mom/Carpool?
I rode my by mostly, except when it rained. Then it was the bus. Mom only drove if the bus was missed on a rainy day.

4. Do you have a sack lunch or cafeteria food?
Sack lunch, except on Wednesdays, when they had hot dogs in the cafeteria. That is after they built the cafeteria. Before that we had to bring lunch.

5. What is your favourite memory from your school days?
The last day of school before summer vacation.

Oh. I guess I forgot to mention that she writes in English English rather than American Englush. Hence the extra letter in favorite.

Oops!

Well, I lost the Trivia Contest at the church's pot-luck dinner last night by just 1 point!
Not only did I get the last question wrong, but I was immediately asked to leave.
The question was: "Where do women have the curliest hair?"

Apparently, the correct answer is "The Fiji Islands."

* J. Bartlett Brebner

"Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States."

CANADIAN JOKE # 1

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona ."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."
The bartender gives him one..

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it.

The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"

The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

Sure Happy It's Thursday

Someone else has done the hard stuff.






We just have to figure out how to use them

CANADIAN JOKE #2

Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

CANADIAN JOKE #3

In Canada there are two seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.

CANADIAN JOKE #4

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatts Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

CANADIAN JOKE #5

A Quebecer, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!" yelled the Quebecer.

CANADIAN JOKE #6

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St.Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his."

Go figure

I was in my back yard trying to fly a kite.
I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success.
All the while, herself is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yelled to me,
'You need a piece of tail.'
I turned with a confused look on my face and said,
'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'

Sure Happy It's Thursday

It has been awhile since we played The Game. Besides, the bin I keep them in is getting full.




...and the one at the top of the page.

I'm taking a pass again

I have figured out that I would rather kibitz on other people's blogs than write my own stuff... at least for now. Besides, it gives me multiple opportunities to add to my collection of verification words, also known as captcha.
I suppose I could cut and paste a joke or two. Lord knows I've received plenty.
Anyway, have a nice day.

Well, I really scewed up that

I had been away for almost the entire month of August. Well, not entirely away, because I periodically found the opportunity to "borrow" a computer and access the Web, mostly to check email. So I looked at the sidebar and see that I managed to post 12 times while I was away. Now I have been back for a week and have managed to post only twice, including this post.

Did I mention

That I am lurking stalking again.
Yippee skippee the vacation's over and it's back to reality... whatever that is.

While I wasn't here, I did check in occasionally and even periodically posted and sometimes even commented on other blogs. I also came to the conclusion that I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat and I sure do wish they'd leave me alone. I am perfectly capable of making up my own mind and taking care of myself. I have a feeling that there wouldn't be nearly the financial crisis if so many politicians weren't getting paid for for screwups. Darnitall, they should be the last ones to draw a paycheck when things like the economy aren't going right.
I heard this morning that someone wants to improve things for the middle class. Then in almost the same breath said something about letting the stock market wallow in its mess.
Well, somebody ought to remind someone that there are a lot of folks in the middle class... like me... who depend upon stocks, through mutual funds, for their well-being.

Oh, heck! I outta here