Thursday, February 7, 2013

Things are getting tough!

For all government workers and contractors

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO

New Travel Instructions

Notice of TDY/TAD Travel Changes...........

TDY/TAD Travel

In keeping with the latest round of DOD budget cuts, changes will be made to
the Joint Travel Regulations (JTR). Effective Monday the following revised
procedures apply:

Lodging: All DOD personnel performing temporary duty (TDY) are encouraged to
stay with relatives and friends while on government business travel. If
weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary
lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide
shelter in periods of inclement weather.

Transportation: Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of
commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all
personnel prior to their departure on TDY. Bus transportation will be used
only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be
authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For
example, if a meeting is scheduled in Washington D.C., but a lower fare can
be obtained by traveling to Omaha, NE, then travel to Omaha will be
substituted for travel to Washington D.C.

Meals: Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It
should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Costco,
Hickory Farms, General Nutrition centers, and occasionally Safeway often
provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in
this manner. We realize many of you survive your weekends this way.

Travelers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other
protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be
utilized, travelers should use "all you can eat" salad bars. This is
especially effective for employees traveling together as one plate can be
used to feed the entire group. DOD Personnel are also encouraged to bring
their own food on business travel. Cans of tuna fish, Spam, and Beefaroni
can be consumed at your leisure without the bother of heating or costly
preparation. Cost of these items will not be reimbursed.

Miscellaneous: All DOD personnel are encouraged to devise innovative
techniques in effort to save tax dollars. One enterprising individual has
already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods,
which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red
caps will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure so that they
may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and
ballpoint pens will also be available to personnel so that sales may be made
as time permits. Proceeds must be turned into the DOD finance section at the
conclusion of the TDY. We welcome any suggestions for further fiscal
innovations. Remember, "We invite you to be a Waste Buster"

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO

1 comment:

  1. ...and occasionally Safeway often
    provide free samples of promotional items.

    Heh. When The Second Mrs. Pennington and I lived in Japan we would make the rounds of various supermarkets in Tachikawa and scarf up the free samples, which varied from sushi to sausage to God-Only-Knows what. And that was dinner on MANY a night. Then we'd put our money towards drinking in one of our favorite bars.

    Oh, to be young again. ;-)


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