Monday, July 9, 2012

Wait! There's more

A man goes to see the Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.. You want my advice?
The man said, "Yes;"
The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob.."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
With his last breath John said, "I do!"


  1. And then there's this...

    Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up, and his pale lips began to move slightly.

    "Becky, my darling," he whispered.

    "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."

    He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I have something that I must confess."

    "There isn't anything to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's alright, go to sleep."

    "No, no, I must die in peace, Becky. I... I had an illicit relationship with your sister!"

    "I know," whispered Becky, "that's why I poisoned you."


  2. i recall a quote by winston churchill. when a particular woman said if he were her husband she'd poison his tea his retort was that if she were his wife he'd drink it.


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