I can't make up stuff like this

Are you tired of those
sissy 'friendship' poems
that always sound good,
but never actually come close
to reality?
Well, here is a series of
promises that actually speak of
True Friendship.
You WON'T see
cutesy little smiley faces
on this card-
Just the stone cold truth
of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad,
I will jump on the person
who made you sad
like a spider monkey
jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!

2. When you are blue,
I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile,
I will know you are
plotting something
that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared,
we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse
it could be until you
quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6.. When you are confused,
I will use little words.

7. When you are sick,
Stay away from me
until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have....

8. When you fall,
I'll pick you up
and dust you off--
After I laugh!!!

9. This is my oath....
I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
-- because you are my FRIEND!
***********************
Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
but only YOU
can feel the
true warmth.
**********************
Try sending this to
10
of your closest friends ..
including the person
who sent this to you .....
Then, get depressed
'cause you can only
think of four!